Today was a pretty good day for me :)  Work went pretty good.  I was on register.  We were pretty busy today. 

I am excited about tomorrow.  I am going to J's bday party and we are roller skating.  I havent been on skates since like 2007 so this is gonna be strange.  I just hope i dont fall on my butt too much and that my knee will be ok.  I am going to try it :) 

I am happy I have the day off tomorrow.  It is going to be so much fun.

Work just sucked.  How hard is it to say to the person you are talking to 'Hey I am at the check out can you hang on a few min?'  And then you continue your conversation later. 

Also its not my fault that the debit machine is not working right.  I have no control over the equipment that I work with.  If you want to bitch about it tell the manager about it.  I did the right thing when I told the girl that was doing the sales desk that it wasn't working right and she told me to just run the cards through my register and have the people sigh it.  So don't give me shit about you having to take 5 seconds to sign your name cause its not working.  Just so you know calling me a fucking bitch does not help me to try and help you.  It makes me want to just slap you or shove you in front of a car...

Well I am off again today!  I go back to work tomorrow.  It's only going to be a four hour shift.  So it will end up going fast.  I enjoy my days off, but it can get boring being at home all day.  I can not wait for Saturday.  We are celebrating D's birthday.  We are going to the skating rink.  I have not been roller skating in over 4 years.  I am excited about it but worried about falling and re hurting my knee.  I am going to try though.  I can't let my knee keep me from doing things that I want to do or try.  I want to get a bike so I can start ridding it.  I think that will help me with trying to loose weight and it is fun to do. 

Off work the next two days! :)  Gonna relax and get stuff done around the house.  May start taking walks soon.  As long as the weather is nice...Right now its rainy and gloomy outside.

I am thinking about starting to write stories again.  I miss doing that but I just havent really been in the mood to write lately.

The store check went good I think....I hope we passed...

I can't make him love me.  I can't make him want to be my friend...I just feel so lost.  I don't really want to talk to anyone about how I feel.  I am scared I will just get hurt more then what I already am.  I feel like I am totally just shutting down.  Maybe that would be the best for me to do...I don't know. :(

I cant breathe...I just want to die my heart is totally broken and i feel like i am unwanted and worthless...i dont matter anymore i am so heart broken hearted that I dont know what to do anymore i just want to go to sleep and never wake up...I cant stop crying...

The guy that I am totally in love with lives far from me and I know he thinks that we will never be together physically.  And we both wish we could be.  I want for us to work so much.  I hate when he puts himself down.  I wish he could know what I see in him.

He is smart.  He has come so far from the person I first met.  He cares so much about how I feel more then how he is feeling.  I know he hates when I say things that are mean about myself.  He has a way of making me feel beautiful and special.  He tries to do what he think is best for me even if that means hurting him...I don't want him to hurt.  I want him to be happy.  And I want him and I to be together and work things out with each other.  I am a different person when him and I talk.  I smile more and I laugh more then I have for the past few years.  I am truly happy when him and I are talking.  Even when he is yelling at me for doing things that drive him nuts and makes him upset with me.  I know he only does it because he cares.  I just wish he would give us a chance and maybe just maybe it would work for us.  I want to be with him so much and I wish that I lived closer so we could spend time with each other.  I know he don't think that could happen, but maybe it could...

I know there are things about him that he hates and he thinks it would make me go down with him.  But I think I pull out the best in him.  I think he has become a person then what he was.  I know there are things that I have done to make him change on somethings.  I hope that I make him feel like he is wanted and loved and happy.  Because that is how he makes me feel.  I just wish he would understand that. And that he would see the way I think about him.  I love him for his past and I love him for how he is now.  I love him for him and that won't change.   

I worked last night from 1 to 10 it went pretty good.  I was sooo tried when I got home tho.  Then today I worked 11 45 to 3 45.  Tomorrow I work 5 to 10 and then we have the store inspection on Tuesday.  I hope it goes good and we pass.  I don't want to get in to trouble if we don't pass it.  I am not sure what would happen if we don't pass it. 

I am watching Fiddler on the Roof.  I love this movie.  One cause it is a musical and two because I just like it!

I am doing good today...I had to work till close today...I was a little upset about the fact that someone took my candy...But I still have two boxes so I just took them home.  After that things went good.  We were pretty busy today.  I work tomorrow too...But I can wear jeans and a green shirt since its ST Patricks Day :) Diffenitly dont want to get pinched...I bruse so easy that I would have little black and blues all over the place if I didnt.

I get my check tomorrow! YAY!  I know I can be weird with getting excited over small things...It is all part of my charm :)

Today has been pretty good...My brother came over for awhile today.  It was nice seeing him...Since he started being with A he has gottin to be so much nicer and it seems like he cares more and is laid back about stuff now...

I am thinking about getting my fishing liscence...I hate touching fish but I like to spend the time with my family outside and doing stuff we all like to do and just being able to have fun with each other. 

I hope it stays nice now on...I am so ready for Spring and the nice weather.  The storms I could do with out but hey its better then snow that is for sure.

My grandmas test came back ok but now they want to do an mri on her...I hope they can find out what is going on with her.  My Mom's left side is really hurting.  She is even having trouble walking cause she is in pain...I am going to take her to the ER after supper tonight.  I hope they can figure out what is going on with her....

I have today off...I been watching A Haunting...I have like 6 of the episodes of it.  I have been catching up on my reading as well.  Pretty much I have just been relaxing.  I like when I have to work, but I also like being able to just kick back and do things in my room and do what I like doing. 

I joined a site to swap books, I am hopping people want to swap with me...

Today I went with Mom to the church to eat.  It was pretty spicey I know that for sure!

Tomorrow my Aunt is coming to get me and my Mom for a girls night at her house.  I am excited about going and spending sometime with my family.  I have fun when I go away most of the time.  The only time I don't is when I feel like I am being used and feel like I am not being respected. 

I love watching Smackdown.  I know it is weird that I am a girl and that I watch it...I just think it is really cool watching the wreaslers.  They are cool on something of the things they do.

I miss doing tae kwon do...I always had fun in the classes that I was taking.  And the students I was taking classes with were so supportive and nice and cared about each other.  Maybe I can find something to do that is kind of like that but not as hard on my body as TKD was....

Well I ended up getting sick today.  My tummy was really not feeling good.  I am feeling a little better then what I was.  I really want to go to my Aunt's house this Saturday and if I don't feel better I can't go.  So I am trying to take it easy today, and I will end up taking it easy tomorrow as well.  My Mom don't feel good either.  I think it was the veggies we ate last night.  Because everyone else in the house is just fine.  So it must have been that.  I am feeling some what better now tho.  I slept a lot today.  I hope I will be able to sleep tonight.

I worked 9 to 3 today.  we had a lot of the managers at our store for a meeting.  So last night I spent the whole time straightening stuff up and dusting the shelves.  Today I ended up changing signs in the clothing sections and then ended up putting out the Easter candy.  I like doing that kind of stuff.  

I have the next four days off from work!!! It is good that I can spend some time doing stuff at home, but it sucks that I won't have a big pay check for the week.  Maybe I will get called in to work on one of the days.  Sometimes that happens. 

I love being in my own room!  I get the privacy I want.  And I can open my door and bug Mom when she is on the computer too! :D

Well I got all my stuff moved into my Dad's old bedroom.  So now I finally have my own bedroom and I love it!  Last night I slept good.  I woke up a few times.  It took me a little to get used to sleeping in a new bed.  I liked being able to have my own privacy though.  I am just glad that I was able to get all my stuff done and able to get everything put away nicely. 

I have to work tonight.  I am working a small shift today.  11 45 to 3 45.  It will go fast I know that for sure.  After work I have to go to the store and get a few grocerys and then get a few other things as well.  I got a pretty good check this week.

Well I went to court.  It went good for me.  It got continued till June.  So that is good.  Then the lawyer asked me if I had talked to Matt.  Then said he put a body attachment on his...Apparently he hasn't been showing up to the court for the trailer.  He said that if he gets pulled over he will be going to jail unless he gets it taken care of.  I am just like wow glad I went to court so this didn't happen to me.  If it had I would be in so much trouble it wouldn't be funny....

I work tomorrow.  The last day for working my big hours...