Yesterday 11 3 14

So I am back to journaling 3 times a week.  I need to be able to get my feelings and thoughts out instead of holding them in all the time.  

Yesterday was a very hard day for me.  I found out something about a family member that made me scared, angry, disappointed, upset, and pretty much very emotional.  I am not going into what the problem is, but I was went to for help, and I didn't really even understand it.  I feel like I have failed that person.  But I am starting to realize that it wasn't my fault.  At least now they are asking for help.  So that is weighing very hard on my mind.  I care about my family and I seem to always want to take care of the problems.  I know I can't help all the time, but its hard.  I also have to keep remembering that I can't change people.  I can only change myself and my actions.  It is a very hard lesson to learn that is for sure.  

Then I got called into work early.  I was told that I had offended a customer with something I said.  I don't even remember saying what it is said that I had said.  But I was asked to apologize for it, which I will do today before work.  It always seems like things pile on.  I mean like things will be awesome, then all of a sudden everything goes downhill.  And it seems like it is never just one thing.  It is a lot of things all at once.  And it gets very hard to handle everything.  

Some good news is I got 90% on a test that I had to take at work.  So that is awesome.  I think there are a few more test that we all have to take.  Hopefully I will do just as good as those as I did on this one.  The last one I did kinda yucky on.  But at least I am learning.

I still love my job.  There have been a lot of changes this past month and will be having more changes too.  We got the new gas pumps.  Next week we get an overhand or canopy what ever they are calling it.  And we are getting a digital sigh.  I am excited about the new sign.  No more having to climb a ladder to change gas prices which will be very good.

I am supposed to get my knee brace Friday.  I notice I need more support with my knee when I am working, otherwise my knee gives out and there is nothing I can do till I am older and can just get my knee replaced.  Diffidently not looking forward to that.

My sister has a new boyfriend.  He is very nice and kind of a goofball.  Him and A are so much alike that its crazy.  He is like the female version of her.  I don't know yet if that is a good thing or if it is a bad thing.  

Well I need to get somethings done around the house...Just gotta keep moving so I don't dwell on problems....

Update

Well I got a new job at a gas station.  I love working there.  They treat me a lot better then what they did at K-mart that is for sure.  I even got a 25 cent raise after being there for my 90 day probation time.  So that is awesome!!! 

Family is doing pretty good.  We have been getting my nephews a lot lately.  They are such a joy to see, but man do they have energy.  I love spending time with them and watching them learn new things and saying new words. :)  

I don't have a boyfriend at this time.  Maybe that will change later this year who knows.  Right now I am just enjoying my singleness.  If that is even a word.  

I don't have a Top right now either.  Maybe later on I will again.  But right now things are just so busy with my life I am lucky if I have time to even read a book. 

My best friend Steph is coming to visit next month.  Neither one of us can wait.  We always seem to pick up with each other like no time has past.  

Well that is a little update about things going on with me... I will try to write more then what I was.

So work is going okay...I had to work the service desk last night then turn around and work 4 to 8 this morning.  It was crazy that is for sure.  I didn't burn the desk down so that is good...

M and I still haven't talked.  He said it was something to do with my phone, but I can get text and send text to everyone else so I don't know what is going on...  He knows my house number and I even tried to text him using my Mom's phone so the ball is in his court if he feels like talking to me.

I got my hair cut today!  It is short!  I went from having my hair to the middle of my back to up to my chin.  It looks really great though and I like it.  And that is what is most important.  :)  Plus short hair looks more like me.  I just wished I could have sent it to locks of love.  But they won't take it if it has been dyed.  So that sucks.  

Well I will write more later on gonna get some house work done for Mom since she isn't feeling good today.

I guess I am just feeling blah today...M hasnt talked to me in about 2 days now...I prolly did something wrong.  I am always messing up.  I don't even know what I do wrong half the time.  I am to the point I just want to say I give up...

Well I found out I have lost 4 pounds so far!! I am very happy that I am starting to loose weight!  I am really enjoying working out.  I want to try out a class there, but I decided to wait until later on.  So far my knee hasn't been hurting while I work out.  So that is good.  I know once I get the weight off my knee issues will be better as well.

  Mom has browncitus again.  But this time we caught it early.  So she is on meds to help with that.  I am just hoping that she feels better.  I would like her to come work out with me as well.

I will write more later on.  Just wanted it to be a quick update today. 

Working out...

One of the things I have down as a my New Years resolution was for me to loose weight.  Well a few days ago I looked up the different gyms in my area and went and saw what they are all about.  The first one I went to I didn't really like it.  The music was blaring all over the place, and it just seemed to be more expensive to join.  The second one I went to I decided wasn't for me.  It was a personal trainer, so it would be like taking classes from just him, and after being in PE in high school and having the teacher yelling at everyone. I decided the idea of a trainer just wasn't right for me.  I wanted a place to go and work out the way I want to work out.  The last place I went to I really liked.  The fitness center which has all the machines and things is kinda small, but its nice.  They also have different classes like yoga, hip hop dance, zumba, and pilates.  So I may take a class or two later on.  But for now I am just going to use the cardio machines.  I only have to pay 15 dollars a month!  I think that is easy enough for me to pay.  

So I went there today and worked out for about an hour.  I did 18 minutes on the treadmill, 10 minutes on the bike, and then went and tried about 6 or 7 different machines.  I think I did pretty good.  I really had fun working out.  The lady that owns the gym was nice and told me about each machine and showed me how to work them.  I also ended up taking a shower there as well since I actually sweated.  I am going again on Saturday so I can get signed up for the month, and start working out.  I am also going to try and keep track of how much I have lost as well.  I really want to loose 100 pounds before 2015.  So that is a full year to work on it.  Plus I wanna get some new clothes!!!

When I talked to Mike about joining a gym he told me I have to go 3 times a week, or I will be in big trouble...Meaning I will probably be getting spanked.  So I will be going 3 times a week.  He did say that he would be upping how many times I have to go later on.  But for now I have to get used to the 3 days a week and get into having a routine.  :)

I will be sharing more about my weight loss and how working out is going on later on.   

Today and a few other things...

Earlier today my parents car broke down.  So Mom had to use my car to go and pick up my Dad.  So it is back to everyone using my car until my parents car gets fixed.  Hopefully it is nothing expensive.  

I worked like 5 and a half hours today.  It went pretty good.  We finally got the truck in.  It was supposed to be there on Monday, but because of the "little" blizzard we had it didn't come till today.  So I ended up putting things away the whole time.  I got all of electronics and housewares done.  I was working on domestics when we had to stop for the night.  I think I did a pretty good job.  

So I have the next two days off of work.  So I am planning on getting something kinda cleaned out of my closet.  And getting them put away for this summer.  Mom was saying something about having a yard sale this summer.  That will be fun, and it is a great way for us to earn some extra cash and get rid of some things that really need to just be gone.  I like having yard sales.  :)  I really like being able to have extra money so I can save up for some fun things I want.

I am really excited about February.  I am going to see my my best friend S in Ohio.  We are going to see the Titanic exhibit that goes around to different museums.  I am really looking forward to seeing it and to also being able to spend time with S.  We are also celebrating my and her birthday, and Christmas as well.  I already got everything for her.  I am going to get the tickets for me to take the bus there on Monday.  Dad don't want me to drive there.  To be honest I don't want to drive there either.  I think we maybe also going out to eat somewhere while I am there as well.  I'm not sure what all we will be doing yet.  I just know I am glad to be able to have a vacation from my house.  Sometimes it is good to just get away for a few days.  :)