Friday, July 1, 2011

Somethings I needed to get off my chest.

Well my class reunion is coming up in September.  It feels so weird that 10 years have gone by since I was in high school.   I mean wow.  Where has the time gone?  And what is weird is I have hardly talked with anyone I went to school with.  I mean there are a few people I say hey to but that is about it.  I think it would be nice to see some of the people I went to school with and see what they are up to.  I hate that I haven't done all that I wanted to do yet, but there is still time.

Here I am at 29 and I feel like I am starting my life over.  This time I am not going to let someone tell me who I can be friends with, or when and if I can see my family.  I missed out on a lot because of not being "allowed" to see some members of my family.  Why?  Because my soon to be ex-husband didn't like them, or didn't agree with what they said.  We always had to go to his families get togethers.  He let his family call me names and treat me like crap.  I was always nice to them.  I took care of Matt's Dad when he wasn't able to do stuff before he passed away.  I took care of Matt's son H when in all honestly I didn't have to, but I did these things out of the kindness of my heart.  Where did it get me?  Accused of cheating on him.  I had never cheated on him...Then he says unpure thoughts are against God's will.  Okay...I get that.  But yet wasn't he having unpure thoughts when he would see a pretty skinny girl go by him and he would say hey she is hot I would love to have a little fun with her.  Guess I wasn't the only one having thoughts.

What pisses me off is I was willing to try and work things out.  Go to marriage counseling, or something to work things out.  But he doesn't even want to try.  Oh well his loss.  I know that I wont be getting in a relationship where the guy tries to control me again.  At least now I can see my family and spend time with them.  Just wish I knew this before I got married.  Because I don't think I would have ever married Matt .  He diffidently is not the man I married that is for sure.  Hope he finds whatever it is he wants.  But I guarantee no woman will put up with his anger problems that is for sure!  I don't know how many times I had to step in when he was yelling at his poor son.  No wonder that child didn't want anything to do with Matt.  He was always yelling at him for something.  Thank God I was never blessed with kids when I was with Matt.

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