Work went ok...

My Mom may have to have her gull bladder out.  They are going to run test to find out about it.

I am just feeling down today... :(

I had to work today.  It went pretty good.  I was up front most of the time.  I did end up in the garden shop covering for P's brake.  Then I had to go and straighten parts of the store.  It went pretty fast today.

 Friday the reading program for the summer starts at the library!  I can't wait!  I am wondering what the prizes will be this year.  Hopefully something cool.  I love reading!

I am working tomorrow 4 to close in the garden shop.  Then I will be off work till Saturday.  Which that will be my first day off for the past 6 days.  I am hoping I will get a lot done on my day off.

I worked in the garden shop again today from 11 to 3 15.  It went pretty good.  We had so much stuff to do today.  We had to move things around.  I had some help from one of the new guys.  He was fun to work with.  We ended up picking on each other.

I work 8 to 2 30 tomorrow and then going out to eat for a late Mothers day gift for my Mom.  I also get paid tomorrow!!!  So I have to get a few things before I leave work tomorrow.  Mostly I need to get a phone card for my phone because I need to have a phone.

I am feeling a lot better then what I was, but I still have a really bad cough.  I am trying to get better though.  I hate being sick.  I have to take things slower and I hate doing that.  I love being on the go and having things to do.

I been sick the last few days.  I been in bed most of the time trying to rest.  I gotta admit I was getting pretty bored just staying in bed and only being able to sleep.  I know sleep is the best thing for me, but it got so boring.  I like being able to do stuff.  And I know I should slow down when I am sick.  So I need to work on that more.  I am still going to try and take it easy cause I don't want to get worse or anything. 

I worked yesterday for 3 hours.  I didn't really do much, but just stood at the counter.  I didn't even put any freight out cause I knew I would end up getting tired.  And it helped that the store manager even told me to take it easy.  They opened the valves for the sprinklers to wash out the old water I guess or to make sure it worked and the garden shop ended up getting water in it.  That has never happened before there.  I am just glad I didn't have to clean it up since I was leaving and D was coming in to work. 

Today I worked 8 to 2 30.  I had to put the new signs up for this weeks sells.  I was getting upset by one of the kids that works there.  He came to giving me my brake and told me he didn't have to do what I asked him to and D one of the managers said he did.  Well when I was leaving to go on my break he told me I should have never said any thing.  It upset me that he would talk to me that way.  It was pretty warm today.  The temperature was at about 88. 

It was so nice to walk into the house and feel the cool air.  Mom even opened my room so it will get cool in there as well.  I am glad that my parents decided to put the air conditioner in.  I am thinking about buying one for my room, but I don't know for sure about spending that kind of money yet. 

I work 4 to 10 30 tomorrow.  I am prolly going to end up doing a lot of stuff outside.

I worked 12 to 5 today.  It went pretty good.  I ended up putting freight out.  It went really fast today.  Things were a little better then what they were yesterday.  My Dad is still going off about the stupidest thing though.  I wish he would just stop the yelling and getting on people about the stupid stuff.  I wish he would say nice things for once.  Oh well..  Nothing I can really do. 

I am working 8 to 2 30 tomorrow.  I hope it goes good like it did today.  :)

I am sitting here crying.  I can't stop.  It is cause my Dad keeps yelling at Mom and my sister.  I am in my room just trying to get away from it and I can't.  I really just need a break from this house and my Dad.  I can't handle it anymore.  I really can't.   It just keeps getting worse and worse every day it seems like.  It maybe fine for like a day and then he goes off about something else.  I can't say anything to him.  The last time I did he said if I don't like it then I can get the heck out.  I have no place that I can go..  I don't even think he knows that I get these major attacks of anxiety when he yells.  Right now its to the point I am having trouble calming down and just being able to breathe....

So my Aunt talked about me and my Mom going with her to this conference she has to go to for work. I went a few months ago and had fun hanging out at the hotel and spending the time with my Aunt when she had the down time. Well she said she was going for this conference for 3 days. Right during my birthday. I thought hey that will be cool and she invited my Mom and I to go with her, She told me we wouldn't have to worry about getting a room or the meals. Then today she says she cant pay for the meals and then says I don't have a problem with you going...So what am I supposed to tell my Mom who is looking forward to going...I'm sorry you can't go cause I am not going to be able to spend all the money for both of us to eat and help with a hotel room...I can't say that to my Mom. So I am just not going. I am done with people promising and making plans when they are just going to break them and then decide not to follow through. It ends up making me more and more upset to the point I can NOT take much more before I just totally break...I am getting really close to the point of totally just loosing it. I really can't take much more...

July 15..

Today went pretty good at work.  It was a 4 hour shift in the garden shop.  I like it out there. :)  I had to clear a lot of the dead stuff out of the plants today and water the heck out of them.  They have been so dry lately so I keep having to water them like crazy.   We are supposed to get 5 trays of flowers in today.  I wasn't there to put them away tho.  So that is good.  I just hope that the guys put them nicely and it looks good.  Cause if they didn't I will have to redo the work.  And that can get annoying having to go over someone elses work.

Today...

This morning my Dad went off on my sister because she asked him to make sure she was up to take her pill.  He comes down and starting yelling that if she is going to ask him to wake her up then she needs to get up.  I wish he would just stop yelling all the time.  I have a lot of trouble being around when people yell it makes me really freak out.  I wish he would get that he can get people to do stuff without yelling and treating them like crap.  Mom just came in she was trying to mow the yard.  Well Dad goes off on her cause she isn't mowing the way HE wants her to do it.  Apparently the way she does it is wrong.  I just don't get why he goes off about the smallest and stupidest things.  It's like he is trying to get all of us to the point of just having a nervous break down.  Or he is trying to see how far he can push us.  I hate that he does this all the time.  That is why I spend so much time alone in my room.  At least when I am in there I don't have to hear him go off about things as much.  I can try and to forget him.

I don't have a lot of stuff that I need to do today.  I just need to fold and put away my clothes.  I like when I have my days off, but sometimes like today I just feel bored.  I don't know why.  I mean I could catch up on some of the shows that I missed.  Which I already have.  I could watch a few movies, but I don't really feel like watching anything.  I am just feeling lazy today.  Every once in awhile I get in these moods where I don't want to do anything.

I don't know how my sister can stay up all night long and then just sleep all day.  I used to do that before I got a job and started doing more stuff around the house.  Don't get me wrong I like to be lazy every once in awhile, but doing it all the time everyday would drive me insane.  There is so much going on sometimes during the day and I feel bad that she misses so much that is going on in the world.

I had my interview with my brothers girlfriends Mom.  She is really nice.  I maybe taking care of her daughter that is Autistic and also has seizures.  I hope she decided to bring her here and have me work with her.  I think I would do a good job, and maybe I can help her more.  I don't want to get my hopes up to high though cause when it ends up not happening I end up getting really upset and being hurt.  *sigh*

Well work went pretty good.  I have tomorrow off! YAY!!! So I decided to do my laundry again.  I figure I try to get as much stuff done on my day off as I can.  I know in three weeks I will end up being very very busy.  I work every day but one day.  I am going to be one tired girl, but the money will be good. :)  Maybe I can get everything caught up and get things finally finished. 

I am pretty much going to be hanging around the house.  I am thinking of getting stuff for the grill with my next check.  I wanna have a barbaque.  I have no idea why lol.

I love this show America's got talent.  There are some really good people and acts on here.  And then you have the people that are just plain wrong and awful that you just have to laugh.

I worked 8 to 12 today.  It went very good today.  I ended up doing 2 pallets of freight.  It went really good.  I ended up getting almost everything but 3 boxes put away.  I work the same shift tomorrow.  It goes pretty fast when I have stuff to do and it is busy.  I still like it even when there is no freight to put away.  I end up cleaning and pulling the dead stuff off the plants and flowers.  In two weeks I will only have one day off for the week.  I am totally going to love the money.  But I know I will be very tired. 

I am going to be getting a new phone.  The one I have now keeps messing up and not sending text and things and I am getting tired that it don't work right.  Plus I already spend about as much as having a regular plan then with a go phone which is what I have now.  I have to end up going to the store to get one.  Mostly cause my credit is so bad that I would prolly have to do a deposit.  Which really stinks.  I hope they will let me get one at the store tho...Think I will see about going to the store when I get my next pay check...

Well today I had a good day so far.  I didn't have to get the shot for my arm.  I do have to do some physical therapy at home with my arm.  The doctor game me a little sheet of paper that has some exercises on it.  So that is good.  If it still hurts in 3 weeks I will have to go back and may have to run some test to see what is going on with my arm.  I just hope it is better by then.

 Then Mom and I went to KMart so I could get a few things like flowers,  veggie plants, and a few other odds and ends.  Then we came home and planted everything.  I think it looks really nice.  And I liked spending time with my Mom doing something other then just watching tv. 

Now I am trying to get my laundry done and I have to do my sheets as well as my clothes.  I just have so much energy today to get things done.  I have no clue where it came from but I might as well do things while I have this energy! LOL!

I am working tomorrow 8 to 12.  Its a little shift, but I like those shift.  And I like working in the morning more cause then I have the whole day to do what I want or what I need to do.

I worked in the garden shop yesterday it went pretty good.  :)   I think I got a lot done.  Mostly I just had to really water the flowers and the veggie/herb plants.  We have to water things about 5 times a day it seems like because they get so dry.  I really like being out there and not having to deal much with the rest of the stuff that is going on in the store.  It is nice having my own little area and I get to decide where to put some of the plants.  And I get to take care of them and make sure they look nice.  I am working 2 to 10 today.  I am hoping things go good today like they did yesterday.

I am taking my mom out to eat tomorrow after her appointment and then we have to go to the doctor about my arm.  It is still hurting a lot.  Especially after  I am finished at work for the day.  I hate the idea of having to get a shot to help it.  Needles scare the heck outta me!  And I really don't like going to the doctors.  But I need to get my arm to start feeling better.

I worked 12 30 to 5 today.  I was out in the garden shop again and I will be working out there for the next two weeks.  I really like working out there.  I did get annoyed with the sales desk though.  I called her on the walkie 3 times then on the phone 3 times and she totally ignored all the calls.  And when I get someone to cover me for my break she about has a fit that I didn't clear it with her.  Well I tried to. 

We went to the church and ate today.  Mom was talking to a few of the people there and she is thinking of starting to go there on Sundays.  I think it would be kinda cool.  It is also a way to make new friends.  I know she don't have many friends that she talks to.  I think it would be good for her.  And the people at the church are very nice.  When she was in the hospital they brought her a small orchid.  I think it was very sweet of them and it showed that they cared about her and how she was doing.

I have today off yay!  I went to the lawyer and I have to wait till after I found out if i need to get the shot for my arm or not. 

My dad is one of his moods...I am just trying to stay as far away from him as possible.

Doing pretty good today..My arm is still hurting but I am trying to still use it.  I have tomorrow off yay!  I have to go see my lawyer.  Matt took me off his insurance and he isnt supposed to do that till the divorce is final.  I am going to tell my lawyer that I cant pay both the bankruptcy and my medical bills.  I just think I should file bankruptcy on my own and just get the divorce finalized already.  Its been almost a year since I filed the papers.  I am just ready for the next chapter in my life, and be done with everything that deals with Matt.