I am sitting here crying.  I can't stop.  It is cause my Dad keeps yelling at Mom and my sister.  I am in my room just trying to get away from it and I can't.  I really just need a break from this house and my Dad.  I can't handle it anymore.  I really can't.   It just keeps getting worse and worse every day it seems like.  It maybe fine for like a day and then he goes off about something else.  I can't say anything to him.  The last time I did he said if I don't like it then I can get the heck out.  I have no place that I can go..  I don't even think he knows that I get these major attacks of anxiety when he yells.  Right now its to the point I am having trouble calming down and just being able to breathe....

So my Aunt talked about me and my Mom going with her to this conference she has to go to for work. I went a few months ago and had fun hanging out at the hotel and spending the time with my Aunt when she had the down time. Well she said she was going for this conference for 3 days. Right during my birthday. I thought hey that will be cool and she invited my Mom and I to go with her, She told me we wouldn't have to worry about getting a room or the meals. Then today she says she cant pay for the meals and then says I don't have a problem with you going...So what am I supposed to tell my Mom who is looking forward to going...I'm sorry you can't go cause I am not going to be able to spend all the money for both of us to eat and help with a hotel room...I can't say that to my Mom. So I am just not going. I am done with people promising and making plans when they are just going to break them and then decide not to follow through. It ends up making me more and more upset to the point I can NOT take much more before I just totally break...I am getting really close to the point of totally just loosing it. I really can't take much more...